Have you ever seen a movie that was so confusing and frustratingly
unsatisfying that you wanted nothing more than to destroy the monitor? Perfidy
was that type of movie for me.
We are first introduced to the main character sitting in a
train. This introduction takes place after a painfully long stationary shot of
a country road in winter time. The man gazes out at the snow on the moving ground.
The next shot is the man exiting the train and going to a pay phone clutching a
small piece of paper in his hand. The audience then is given another painfully
long stationary shot of a hotel in winter.
Finally, a car moves into frame and we can then understand that the main
character is going to the hotel.
The above action, though only taking a few lines on this
blog, took almost 25 minutes to show on film. I trust that you can appreciate my
personal frustration that was mounting with each passing moment.
Before I continue, I suppose I should play “Devil’s
Advocate” and say that it was presented to me, via Netflix, to be a
mystery/foreign film. That tells me that
I might not understand everything or even appreciate it. However, on the other
side of that coin: everything was in English and the “mystery” was simply that
some guy (with a slight accent) shot his former gay lover. Sorry, spoiler alert. But trust me; I just saved your very sanity.
In between the excruciatingly long stationary shots were
some scenes of interest. One scene started out by the man staring into the lens
of the camera lip syncing. But, he mouthed the words to the song-
in its entirety. Another scene that stared out interesting was the
transformation of the man into a dapper looking gentleman. However, this became
exhausting as we actually watched him shave and cut his hair. Yes, you guessed
it: he did it slowly.
Finally, as the credits rolled, I unclenched my jaw and
cracked my knuckles while releasing an audible exhale. The experience was over.
Much like staying awake through extensive dental work, I was now assured that
the end had finally come. Perhaps, if the pace or tempo had picked up more or
if the stationary shots had been edited to be shorter, it may have been
enjoyable. But it wasn't and I am left with more wasted time drained from my
very life force.
My next movie is going to have to be a comedy or I may just
do bodily harm to a family of mannequins.
